my birthday is soon/i don't want to

i walked to the library in town today, it’s very small and old and smells absolutely wonderful, i got a saul bellow book i’ve been wanting and one bukowski didn’t have yet. when i kneeled down to look through the books which i always do, sometimes i even sit on the floor for a really long time, but today dust got all over my knees and it made me feel really good for some reason. there was one librarian, a very old lady whose hand wouldn’t stop shaking, i wanted to cry, but i bought this sticker for a nickel and she told me i looked like someone famous but she couldn’t remember the actresses name. i wanted to hug her for a really long time but i just smiled really big and tried not to cry. 

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