it's autumn

 things i won't mention in casual conversation
 but will probably be thinking about the whole time we speak:

  •  the way your girlfriend at the time leaned against the wall awkwardly when your friend next to her told me i was beautiful, she said "yeah, you're just a firecracker, aren't you" like i did something wrong. i probably did something wrong.
  •  "it's the one with the most warning labels."
  •  the universal facial expressions & hand gestures most people make when their team correctly guesses their pantomime in charades completely embody how my heart feels when i see you.
  •  i vividly remember walking home in brooklyn one day in high school past greenwood cemetery with "harvest moon" by neil young on repeat thinking about whether or not it meant something that i sometimes die in my dreams.  
  • the x-ray technician told me i looked like his girlfriend in high school, i felt nostalgic, for which one of us i don't know.
  • about three or four years ago my therapist told me to make a timeline, make a timeline she said, because you have no idea whats happened, so how can you know what's happening now? last night in bed i thought: here where?
  •  i only go to see if you're there. 

    2 comments:

    rollerfink said...

    "here where?" i like that. i think i'm going to steal it one day while you are leaning against the wall awkwardly.

    KERRY said...

    noted.