i think i should see your face

if i said that when i accidentally cut myself badly while shaving my legs in the shower that i liked the way the blood looked swirling down the drain would you hold it against me? because i've never been in any environment i didn't blow up - i never not started forest fires, i never thought blood wasn't pretty because i know it means i love you i know it means loves been around. 
But I never said your eyes weren't so golden they created fire, or so hot they burnt if you looked too long.  I never said my breath is only as long as the seconds it takes for you to say my name.
when i write sometimes it feels like swimming
but i was never really a good swimmer
whenever i went under i always thought of suffocation
i thought of water in the lungs.
whenever we go under i think of suffocation.
when i write sometimes it isn't like swimming at all, but breathing
it fills up and lets out , a breath that can't be seen but felt,  
like how cold the car windows are on your fingertips 
when you write with them over the fog,
but not what they're saying. it's never what we're saying.  i lie.
I'm in bed but i'm running through fields of tall grass in the dark
and the hard blades feel like things you say to me that don't matter
so i close my eyes and i go just faster
and if i put my hands up like i'm on a roller coaster, i guess it's not that bad.
if i remain very close to the edge, if i whisper as loud as a scream
 i guess it's really not that bad.
because when you love someone and they breathe
there's a taste that comes out of their mouth
dedicated to the sighs and of your ideas of home
and god damn
you will want it inside you - despite everything
you will want it to stay the breath for your breath
it's an air to exist inside, to show to the sky
air to wrap your fingers through and run your mouth along
to hum and say goodnight to
goodnight  too. 


Jeff said...

Damn....why the hell am I the first person to fucking comment on this.

KERRY said...

i don't know.